I usually don't talk about how I feel, it does not change anything, but I will tell you, physically I am spent I have never felt this sick before. So I press on Spiritually with God’s help daily, for He is my strength and shield and I am always relying on Him and asking for His help.
If I stopped and thought about all the things going on with my health, I would not move forward I would be depressed and non-functional.
By the grace of God, I am not.
I understand that God is sovereign over every part of my life, every heartbeat, every breath, and I surrender each one to Him, this is not a battle of the flesh but a spiritual battle, and in Christ, I have victory over all things.
Our spiritual needs far out way our physical needs, yet we pray more for the physical instead of the spiritual, our battle is not physical it is spiritual.
The list of things that are wrong with my health is rather large, I have 25 Doctors, and this year I will have had 55 Doctor appointments plus chemotherapy, more importantly, I have one God and He is my Lord and Savior.
With my newest diagnosis of Myelodysplastic Syndromes there will be more treatments, more side effects, and maybe even death, the only cure right now is a bone marrow transplant which at this time would kill me.
I don’t put this out there for any other reason than to say this.
On my own, If I dwell on these things I would be mentally and spiritually crippled, but I put my hope in Christ, He makes me strong, and bold, He gives me the strength daily to do what He has called me to do.
When He saved me I told Him, I'm all in Jesus, wherever You lead, I will follow You, all the way home.
I would not trade one second of my life for perfect health or riches, for in Christ I am satisfied and complete.
I am no different than others who suffer from Chronic sickness, I just choose to follow Christ no matter what.
God’s word says this:
“Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were complaining about this, asked them, “Does this offend you? Then what if you were to observe the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? The Spirit is the one who gives life. The flesh doesn’t help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life. But there are some among you who don’t believe.” (For Jesus knew from the beginning those who did not believe and the one who would betray him.) He said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted to him by the Father.” From that moment many of his disciples turned back and no longer accompanied him. So Jesus said to the Twelve, “You don’t want to go away too, do you?” Simon Peter answered, “Lord, to whom will we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:61-69 CSB
“I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself. I know both how to make do with little, and I know how to make do with a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content — whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13 CSB
“Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by his vast strength. Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens. For this reason take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand. Stand, therefore, with truth like a belt around your waist, righteousness like armor on your chest, and your feet sandaled with readiness for the gospel of peace. In every situation take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit — which is the word of God. Pray at all times in the Spirit with every prayer and request, and stay alert with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints. Pray also for me, that the message may be given to me when I open my mouth to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel. For this I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I might be bold enough to speak about it as I should. Ephesians 6:10-20 CSB
Band Of Brothers