The place my soul longs to be is in the physical presence of my LORD. To bow before Him and worship Him with all that I am, to gaze upon His majesty, to see His smile, His nail pierced hands, feet and side, to hear His voice and to know that everything is perfect because of Him, and for eternity I will be with Him, this is where I want to be.
Until then, I get to worship Him in Spirit and Truth, He walks with me daily in His word, in His direction, in His Spirit. He helps me in my reasoning, by instructing me with Love, by correcting me in grace, and by leading me in mercy. These things I need, for I am prone to wonder, and easily distracted by the things of the world.
I always feel the need to be in motion, to be doing something, I do not slow down well, I am not good at rest, or on vacation, I feel I must be busy to be productive.
I know I am wrong, but my mindset is set. God in His mercy keeps slowing me down little by little, you would think I would learn by now, but I am a slow learner.
In 2010, Crohn’s changed my life, I went from a 60 hour week plus to not being able to work at all, God changed the direction of our lives, He then put me to work pastoring and helping others part time,which is not work to me, but a blessing from Him to be in the lives of His people and grow in His grace and knowledge.
Now with the latest diagnosis of Bronchial Malletia, He is slowing me down more, which means I have to adjust to a new normal, with His help I will, I would kick and scream but I would be wore out in just a few seconds, ( ha ha).
God is amazing, He gives me the strength to press on, and He takes away the strength I have when He wants me to stop. My mornings are filled with prayer, and time in His word, but I sometimes rush through both, to be busy, when really all He wants me to do, actually all of us to do at times is sit at His feet.
Where this all began, for at His feet is where I truly want to be.
I have read the story about Martha and Mary, a hundred times if not more, I always concentrate on the part of being distracted by tasks, (and we all have task to do) and I never really thought of just sitting at the feet of Jesus, but now that God has changed my perspective, I am going to focus on sitting at His feet, listening more to His words of wisdom, grace, strength, love, mercy, direction and hope and then take on tasks as He directs me and gives me the strength to do, slowing down is not in my top ten of choices, but it is in His.
God’s word says this:
“While they were traveling, he entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand.” The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42 CSB
Most of the time our strongest and biggest enemy is ourselves, we bow to the power of the flesh and yield to it’s demands.
My biggest fear is not in failing for if my God is for me, who can be against me?
My fear is that I believe I did it on my own and forget who Christ is so easily, and that my life is about me.
I need to be reminded that without Him , I am nothing more than dust, pride rules our hearts and minds, our flesh is strong and our enemies numerous, but thanks be to God who gives us the victory over the flesh, the devil and the world.
May we never forget where we came from, where we are going or who we belong to.
If God has raised you up from the ashes, then you are His forever.
My prayer is that in all things my life would glorify Him, that I will walk humbly in His presence,hating what is evil in me and in the world, live mercifully with others and give the grace I receive, these things I know I cannot do on my own, but only with the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Surrendering our will is a daily thing, in every decision, in every act , in every thought and deed we must surrender to the will of God.
Help me Lord Jesus to live my life totally abandoned to self, and surrendered to you. My victory, my life is in you alone .
God’s word say this;
“Mankind, he has told each of you what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you: to act justly, to love faithfulness, and to walk humbly with your God.”
Micah 6:8 CSB
“For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold as a slave to sin. For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate. Now if I do what I do not want to do, I agree with the law that it is good. So now I am no longer the one doing it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it. For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do. Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one that does it, but it is the sin that lives in me. So I discover this law: When I want to do what is good, evil is present with me. For in my inner self I delight in God’s law, but I see a different law in the parts of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of my body. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with my mind I myself am serving the law of God, but with my flesh, the law of sin.” Romans 7:14-25 CSB
“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!” 1 Corinthians 15:57 CSB
This I know if God changed my life, He can change yours.
I grew up in church and thought by default I was a Christian. At the age of 17 I walked away from God and the church, I had my eyes on others and not Jesus. Over the next 16 years God would use people, circumstances and life to draw me back to Him.
At the age of 33 I radically became saved, when an evangelist asked the question “if you died tonight where would you spend eternity?” I heard God’s voice in my soul say, “Brian you would spend it in hell, for rejecting me” I could no longer resist His call, in an instant I gave up my sinful ways and told God I was all in.
I quit drinking, smoking and my six-figure job all the same day. My life started to change in ways that only God could change it, I struggled in the beginning of my walk with Him, but He changed me, some things He took immediately and others He didn’t, for 4 years I wrestled with God over everything, and then things changed, our son had a tumor on the base of his brain and I could do nothing to help him or fix the situation.
So, we prayed, my wife and I and a couple hundred brothers and sisters in Christ, and our Pastors ,we learned in that moment how much we depended on God, How much I depended on Him, how much I really trusted Him, and how sovereign He is.
I learned that God wanted me to surrender everyone, everything to Him.
I had come to the end of me, and the beginning of a deeper relationship with Him. He healed our son and I knew at that time that God wanted me to become a pastor, so I started my journey, I was able to set under some wonderful and Godly men, who discipled me and trained me in God's word and way. I was able to study in some Godly institutions and Universities and God continued to train me in His ways.
I still worked in the world and had my struggles, but God had surrounded me with His grace, love and wisdom.
Six years later God took away my ability to work, and took me to a level of dependence that I was not ready for, but He was ready for me to go through, and as His word says, He never left me, and He never forsake me, He held me and my family up in ways that only He could, to Him be the glory always. He had me start writing what he laid upon my heart every day, He put me to work in the Church and gave me the grace to become a Christian Counselor, and He put to work all the wisdom He poured into me through the years to help others in their Christian walk as He has helped me.
My life is a transformed life, and I can do nothing less than speak of my Heavenly Father’s goodness, love and grace which I have received abundantly.
God’s word says this:
“From now on, then, we do not know anyone from a worldly perspective. Even if we have known Christ from a worldly perspective, yet now we no longer know him in this way. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see, the new has come! Everything is from God, who has reconciled us to himself through Christ and has given us the ministry of reconciliation. That is, in Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and he has committed the message of reconciliation to us. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us. We plead on Christ’s behalf: “Be reconciled to God.” He made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:16-21 CSB
Band Of Brothers